SUYL: My Testimony

I'm late in getting this posted, but I wanted to join in with Kelly's "Show Us Your Life--Testimonies".


I used to think I didn't have a very interesting testimony...and the beginning is fairly mundaine...but hang on, because I promise the end will be worth the reading!


I was raised in a Christian home and in church from the age of 2 weeks old. When I was 7 years old, I asked my Mom lots of questions one day and she led me to Christ. In middle school and high school I had to make the conscious decision to stand up for Christ and how it would make a difference in me versus my classmates in public school. The Lord blessed me with a great support group of Christian friends, my church youth group and being a part of the local chapter of Teens For Christ. I went to a Christian college and went through the process of deciding whether I believed what I believed because it was what I was told to believe, or whether I agreed with it. Again the Lord was faithful to provide some great friends to help me during this time.


It wasn't until the fall of 1995 when I finished my student teaching that I began making decisions that gradually and very subtly lead me away from the Lord. There was not necessarily anything overt about my drifting away from close fellowship with Christ, but I see now how one decision after another led to hardening my heart to His still, small voice.


By the time the fall of 2000 came, I was a mess. The only relationships in my life were unhealthy and I was allowing those people to lead me further away from God. I spent my first 3 days in a mental hospital (for being suicidal) in August of 2000. While I was getting help from a therapist and doctor, things continued to decline and on the evening of October 1, 2000, I had a handful of pills in my hand. In the end, I'm not sure if it was stunt for attention or if I had intended on taking them, but it doesn't matter. I had sunk to the point that I believed the lie that I was worthless and due to the choices I had made, God could not possibly forgive me or love me.

I'm so thankful that the Lord in His mercy rescued me from myself. When I woke up on October 2, 2000 in the mental hospital, I felt like the scales had come off my eyes. I made some difficult decisions medically and relationally. Just 9 months later I moved site-unseen from MI to TX to go to Dallas Seminary. The Lord transformed my life by giving me a new start. I knew no one in Dallas when I moved here in July 2001, but quickly the Lord surrounded me with a good group of friends, a solid church and a good job.

While I was never able to complete my seminary degree (due to health and mainly $$), I hope I never forget what I learned during those years--much of which was outside the classroom. I'll never forget the moment when, in 2002, I was part of a group of ladies that was privileged enough to have lunch with Dr. Howard Hendricks ("Prof" to all of us). We went around the table and each gave a short testimony about how the Lord got us to DTS. After I shared mine, he looked at me and said "wow, what a testimony". Indeed--a testimony for which I want God to get all the glory.

While I have many regrets about my years of wandering away from my Shepherd, I bask in the mercy and grace He has showered on me. I hope I never forget all He rescued me from--not only eternally in my salvation, but from myself that night in October nearly 10 years ago and many, many times since. To Him be all the glory!