Curious Conversation

Life is crazy right now - in survival mode working 65-70 hours/week and keeping up with my online MacroEcon class.  I am very thankful for my job and thankful that the pace is not usually like this.

I just had to post this picture because it makes me smile and I knew it would bring a smile to your day as well.  This is my niece, 17 month-old K.  Doesn't it look like she's telling a wonderful story to her friend the frog there?  I just love the look on her face.

Later, she kissed him :) 

That's all I have time for today.  Just a bunch of red-headed chubby baby cuteness to share. :)

Risen For Us!

“Now after the Sabbath, at dawn on the first day of the week, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went to look at the tomb. Suddenly there was a severe earthquake, for an angel of the Lord descending from heaven came and rolled away the stone and sat on it. His appearance was like lightning, and his clothes were white as snow. The guards were shaken and became like dead men because they were so afraid of him. But the angel said to the women, “Do not be afraid; I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He is not here, for he has been raised, just as he said. Come and see the place where he was lying. Then go quickly and tell his disciples, ‘He has been raised from the dead.”—Matthew 28:1-7 NET

 

He Was Wounded For Us

“He was despised and rejected by people, one who experienced pain and was acquainted with illness; people hid their faces from him; he was despised, and we considered him insignificant. But he lifted up our illnesses, he carried our pain; even though we thought he was being punished, attacked by God, and afflicted for something he had done. He was wounded because of our rebellious deeds, crushed because of our sins; he endured punishment that made us well; because of his wounds we have been healed. All of us had wandered off like sheep; each of us had strayed off on his own path, but the Lord caused the sin of all of us to attack him. He was treated harshly and afflicted, but he did not even open his mouth. Like a lamb led to the slaughtering block, like a sheep silent before her shearers, he did not even open his mouth. He was led away after an unjust trial – but who even cared? Indeed, he was cut off from the land of the living; because of the rebellion of his own people he was wounded.”—Isaiah 53:4-8 NET

Kaelynn's First Egg Hunt

So, my 15 month old niece Kaelynn had her first Easter egg hunt at "school" (daycare) last week.  I'm certain she had no idea what was going on, except she seemed to understand that getting the egg was a good thing, as is evidenced by this pic:

The little dress and hair clip are from Aunt Sarah.

This picture just cracked me up:

Guess who got it?  I felt a little bad for her friend though!

Love my red-headed cutie pie so much!  Isn't she just the cutest little daisy baby ever?! 



Remembering God's Faithfulness

Twelve years ago this past Wednesday, I performed the last act of love towards my precious 12.5 yr old dog BJ.  You might wonder why I would want to remember that.  Well, firstly it was a traumatic day for me so I remember it not necessarily because I want to but because I just do.  But it was also very significant in the bigger picture of what God was doing in my life in the beginning of 2001.

I graduated from Christian college in 1995 and between then and 2001 I had slowly allowed myself to be led astray by the people I chose to associate with.  My heart was no longer focused on my Shepherd and because of that, I know longer yearned for His voice.  I filled that void with all sorts of things, some that were healthy and mostly those that were the furthest thing from.  I came so close to sheer evil I still shudder at some of the thoughts and things that were going through my head at that time.

But God is faithful.  And even when one of His children is being willfully disobedient and defiant, He will not allow Satan to snatch us out of His hand, and my life is a great example of that.  The morning of October 2, 2000, I woke up in a mental facility for the 2nd time in 3 months.  That was my spiritual awakening and God's grace giving me my chance to turn back to Him. 

It was as the Psalmist says in Psalm 18:19, "He brought me out into a spacious place; He rescued me because He delighted in me". 

That morning in the mental hospital I made some life-changing decisions that led to a long, hard road back to where I needed to be in my relationship with the Lord.  He was so gracious and faithful every step of the way.  One of the things He called me to do - not audibly, but as close as can be to that - was to move 1400 miles away from where I was in MI to Dallas, TX to go to seminary.  At the time I really didn't know what the end result of going to seminary would be.  I just knew every man and woman I knew that really knew God's Word had studied at that school, so that's where I knew I had to go.

There were several obstacles to uprooting my life in MI and moving sight-unseen to an apartment 1400 miles away from all I knew and loved.  One of which was selling my old mobile home, which God took care of quickly.  Another was sweet BJ.  I knew he would not survive in the horrible heat of TX and I would be working and going to school and I didn't see how that would work.  I didn't even have the nerve to pray about it because my heart was so sad about what I knew had to happen.

It came very suddenly.  At Christmas 2000, he was just fine.  In January, he had developed something very painful to where he could barely walk.  He was on pain pills-doggie Vicodin if you can believe it!  Then, on the morning of February 27, 2001, we were on our morning walk through the snowy mobile home park, and he stopped.  He looked and me and I knew he could not go any further.  I picked him up (he wasn't light-weight!) and carried him back home, speaking tenderly to him the whole way, becaue I felt certain he was scared.  I know I was!  Walking was his absolute favorite thing to do, aside from snuggling on the sofa.

Once we got back into the house, I tried to give him his pain pill with peanut butter, but he wouldn't take it.  I knew then.  All day I planned for the appointment at the vet, setting up for someone to drive us, because I knew I would be in no shape to drive home with his collar by myself.

Looking back, the vet thought that BJ probably had developed a tumor on his spine, for the pain to develop and escalate that quickly.  I don't know.  I know, though, that the Lord got me through the hardest, saddest days of my life after that Tuesday afternoon through the support of friends.

One of my prayer partners said, when I sent out an update (at this point, I had a group that was praying my way towards moving to Dallas and seminary) - "looks like the Lord is gradually pulling away all the strings that are holding you in MI".

Yes, yes He was.  That "string" on February 27 was a very painful one.  But I praise the Lord for the 2.5 years I had with that sweet furry child of mine.  The Lord rehabilitated my soul through that dog's unconditional love.

Less than 5 months later, on my 28th birthday, July 7, 2001, my Mom and I began the 1200 mile journey from their house in OH to my apartment in Dallas, TX.

Eleven and a half years and half a seminary degree later, I still don't exactly know what God has planned for me here in Dallas.  I have so many blessings.  But He's been so faithful.  Through the hard times, the good times, and all the mundane days in between.

T Minus 5 Months minus 1 Day

So I didn't get around to posting yesterday, but it was a milestone.  Five months from yesterday I hit the big 4-0.  Yes, I know this happens all the time.  But you see, for me, this number holds a [false] significance.  As I have mentioned here before, I have wanted - NO, I HAVE KNOWN, I would be a wife and mother.

All.

My.

Life.

And for some reason, after my boyfriend (to whom I was verbally engaged) and I broke up the summer of 1994, I thought that if I wasn't married by the time I turned 40...
...it would be too late.

Too late for the false timeline I had for my life.  That went out the window 6/5/94!  (We were to marry in 95, I would have our first child about 4 yrs later when I was 25 and have all the children by the time I was 35).

Now, all these many years later, I wonder sometimes.  Sometimes I wonder if God remembers my dream.

Of course He does. 

He is Almighty God.  He is the same God today as He was on June 5, 1994 when I heard words that changed my world forever (which I can see now was a blessing and how that marriage would have been miserable!)

He is the same God today as He was on November 3, 2000 when I had a hysterectomy for medical reasons and said goodbye to that way of being a Mommy.

He is also the same God as He was on 4/26 and 11/29/07, 12/19/09, 11/28 and 12/11/11 - when beautiful babies were born that now call me Aunt Sarah.  Some are related to me by blood - others by the bond of the Body of Christ.  I love these children - and these cutie pies - as if they were my own. The Lord has definitely partially filled the void in that part of my heart this way.

With no "hot prospects" (no warm or even lukewarm ones either!) - I have dreaded this year for a long, long, time. Because I was basing everything on my false timeline.

God obviously has other plans.

I don't know what they are.  But I know He has been good to me.  Very, very good.  So much better than I deserve.  I have so many blessings.

So, instead of looking at the calendar with dread as each day ticks closer and closer to the day of 4-0, I'm choosing to be intentionally grateful for all my numerous blessings.

I bought a special [purple of course!] journal, and purple pens.  And every day, I'm going to record at least one thing, that I am grateful for - and maybe a verse that I read in my quiet time that was extra special that day.

So, if by chance I am tempted to have a pity party on 7/7/13 because of what I don't have and aren't yet, I will have 150 entries and verses to look back on - and put my focus where it always should be.  Because while my life now is nothing like I thought it might be on my false timeline, God knows best.  And this year, I'm going to choose to delight in Him and celebrate His faithfulness and goodness to me.

Tiny Little Mommy

My 1 year old niece Kaelynn got her first babydoll for Christmas.

This was her UNcoached reaction.

She knew - instinctively, that you kiss the face.  She knew that you carry the baby on your shoulder.  I think this is a beautiful display of how God puts in the hearts of little girls - from the very beginning - the skills they will need to be mommies some day.  I just hadn't seen this in a "mommy" this tiny.  Or so cute.  Not that I'm biased or anything!